Wishing You Weren't Here

It's been a long July
These nights seem to have no end
If only one feeling would fade away
You still remain on my mind
Me still trying to learn to bend
Without you I make it to another day
I wish you weren't here
You still only do me harm
Ironic when pleasure from the pain
Afar you remain near
Mesmerized by your charm
With or without you here I feel the same
You are my Kryptonite
You leave me defenceless
Just when I found a heart of stone
You become this night
A  night that leaves me breatheless
You are here yet I am all alone
Praying for more
Yet happy no dream comes due
Your memory won't let me let go
Hardest of all
Friending the one you love
If only they knew your secret
I wish you weren't here

Heavenly Wishes

I wish I was an Angel
Everyone would love me
More than just good intentions
Love and love is free

          I could be happy as a breeze
          Existing between here and there
          Weightless Is never a burden
          Not idle when everywhere

If I could only shine like a star
I might just brighten your day
Stories unfold in the darkness
No one sees the price you pay

         I wish I could feel pain
         When pain no longer hurts
         Each day to a final destination
         Knowing nothing is worse
         
          

         

    

       

Nobody And Nothing

Nobody wants a little more sunshine
And there is nobody who looks for brighter days
Ain't nobody lost between moments
There isn't anybody who has something to say

The grass on the other side isn't greener
And these green fields haven't turned to brown
There isn't anybody heard screaming
Forcing silence nobody ever makes a sound

The rockets fired never do explode
And those aching never feel any pain
The ones searching cannot ever be lost
The ones guilty can never be to blame

Nobody yearns to be something more
Ain't nobody who will cry tonight
Evil never triumphs when there is good
Ain't nobody wrong when it feels alright

What Always Lingers

Wanting to be your gentle breeze
The winds of life drifted you from me
Your sent has lingered
The memories have lingered too
Life gives us pain and pleasure
I feel both when I feel you still
That feeling lingers
And I am grateful
My dreams having sailed
Across the river
Far and wide
To eastern shores
Laying me down
In greens and gold
The flower whithers
Soon I dream no more
Yet once upon a time
There you were
It was nothing of a dream
Until you were no more
You still linger

Man In His Own Skin

Some more chicken scratch of the past that I never found a place for...


The heavens opened up and down came the rain
I stood there alone for hours
Hoping to wash away the stain
The midnight calm refused to set me free
A prayer never answered
When the daylight refused to let me be

              At a crossroad yet with nowhere to go
              I stood alone for hours
              And I waited for my fate to show
              I heard the whispers on the breeze
             When I asked where they were going
              They never did answer me

Like a prisoner left tied and bound
Struggling to escape
I remain caged in this forsaken town
I picked the lock without a key
Still surrounded by bars
There can be no escaping me

Making a Dream Seem Real

There are some thoughts, emotions, ideas, epiphanies, and even some poetry that we seem unable to find a proper place for. It shows on our faces. It wears on our sleeves. We can let it go to the passing wind if we are able, yet when stagnant, everything lingers...

The radioman plays your favourite song
That two in the morning epiphany
You know where it all went wrong
Never will you be a hero
Never a hope in hell
One day you let it out
Some days you never tell
Not definable is a life on the edge
The sidewalk too narrow
Yet still safer than the ledge
From day to night
From laughter to a tear
When everything is murky
Is when everything becomes clear
Stepping towards the day
A leap of faith into the night
Then choosing to let it go
Closing doors
Shutting out lights

Downtown

From the book, Stuff That Matters, 2010

This is the original version of the poem I wrote when I was just 18. I had just moved out on my own to a slum apartment building in the downtown core. I spent many late nights down by the waterfront and was amazed at this entirely different world I had stumbled across. And even though I had never witnessed this other night life, I guess my past and upbringing had prepared me for what most wish not to think about as I was curious, scared and yet, not at all surprised. Over the years I was able to rewrite it and make it better but.....There is something important about hanging on to an 18 year old perspective of life and so I left it alone as originally written. Even though it is not very good, I am glad I left it as I first wrote it.

Downtown

I took a walk on a warm summer night
Never knowing what things I might find
I found a symphony cast in the shadows
And an underground world alive
Of constant duals and makeshift rules
Where winners claim an empty prize
And the losers relinquish nothing
Since emptiness can always be revised
Savaouring the night and safe in the crowd
Always nearby yet they seem so distant
No place to be with their life and it is free
And to society's scorn made resistant
Some are hungry and some are hunted
A few are victims of their own demise
Running away or trying to find home
Some dreams are meant to live but some die
The alarm is sounded when the heat is on
It is now time they were unseen and unheard
They scatter for a time but are never gone
That perception of reality that is blurred
Day after day and then night after night
A life lived and no chance for change
And tonight as another one joins their ranks
Will we ever figure out who is to blame


At the age of 46 I realize that the words chosen could be different, but nothing has really changed. The numbers have just mutiplied.