Who Is Jack Schitt?

Something I came across recently and thought it was funny...


WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered, who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, you don't know Jack Schitt!
Well thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The couple had six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a highschool drop out.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition, named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dog, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned home with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them!

Sincerely,

Croc O. Schitt