The End Of An Era... Jan Berenstain Passes Away At The Age Of 88

Last Friday Jan Berenstain passed way at the age of 88. Yes, Jan was half of the dynamic duo who created the Berenstain Bear childrens' book series. Her husband Stan passed away in 2005

To this day, I can almost recall every story and word for word of the adventures of Brother Bear, Sister Bear and all of the lessons they learned. It was a tradition I passed on to my three boys with absolute delight and enthusiasm. It is possible that even as an adult, I enjoyed these timeless classics more than my children did. And I still recall being in the book aisle of various toy stores and buying whichever new books in the series we didn't have. And of course, that meant a continuation of that nightly tradition of lying in bed and reading my children a story before bedtime. It was always one of my favourite privileges when being a parent.

As best as I can recall, the Berenstain Bears was the first book that I remember being read to me before bedtime. I hung on every word and every turning of the page. And I always had a million questions before I would allow the page to be turned. Brother Bear always seemed to get himself entangled in quite the predicaments that always seemed to turn out okay only after he followed the advice of his mother or father. Sister Bear always seemed to be shy of trying new things but always gave it her all with a little push from her mother and father. From playground etiquette to making the sports team, to making new friends, to going to the dentist, or failing to keep a tidy room, the junior bears always had a difficult yet exciting day. And theirs stories made my nights. When they felt afraid, I did too. When they were worried about being punished for wrong doing, I was worried too. When they were embarrassed, so was I. And I shared their triumphs and all of the ups and downs of growing up. And always, and no matter what the circumstances, they felt safe and secure in a home that had love and understanding. And I found that comforting.

The Berenstain Bears was more than just a childrens' story. Those books were the catalyst that instilled a love of reading and writing that remained even throughout my teenage years. Through every story I learned to dream, to believe in the good, and I felt that wondrous joy of getting lost in imagination. It was my time of innocence and they were such times I will always remember. Of course there was Clifford the big red dog, Franklin the turtle, and then comic books with all my super heroes, then video games, then girls, and then the life of an adult. But it all started with the Berenstain Bears. And what a thrill it was to introduce my children to this wonderful world that I lived in for many years. I often wonder if there will come the day when they will read to their children the adventures of this bear family? I hope they do and I hope they feel the same way as I did when I read to them.

This world we live in is a busy place and eventually, I lost my love of reading and writing. And I no longer have any children to read to. But these past few years have found this man once again, reading, writing and even imagining a dream or two. I wonder what it feels like to write something so memorable that children grow into adults never forgetting the stories read as a child? I wonder if Jan and Stan were capable of understanding just how many people they influenced for so many decades? And could anyone really comprehend the true accomplishment of touching tens of millions of people in such a positive and memorable way? With my simple poetry and musing about life, I will probably never know that feeling of affecting just one person in such a way as they never forget. But I can dream about it and I can imagine it. And I learned how to do both when I was read a story about a bear family who lived in a tree house.


"Once I spent my time playing tough guy scenes. I was living in a world of childish dreams. But someday these childish dreams must end. To become a man and grow up to dream again."
~ Bruce Springsteen

How Standford University Came To Be

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. She frowned. "We want to see the President," the man said softly.

"He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped.

"We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the President, even though it was a chore she always regretted.

"Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him. He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The President, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. And my husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."

The President wasn't touched, he was shocked. "Madam," he said gruffly. "We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."

"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now. And the lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded.

The President's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, travelling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.

Malcolm Forbes




I have always liked this story since first reading it last year. And even though Standford's own official history and archives discredits this story as being nothing more than fiction, it still teaches an important lesson.

Enjoy!!

Misdirecting Myself On Purpose

With my worn out remote in my hand I found myself once again, involved in the futile exercise of finding a point of interest on what I have long since been referring to as the "Idiot Box". In this age of information which has also given us an infinite number of television options, I am consistently unable to find anything enticing. I am beginning to come to the conclusion that the Age of Information is more useless information than anything informative or entertaining.

I passed by the scripted reality shows. I have more than enough drama in the real world and I am thankful that there are no cameras at a predetermined spot and time to capture it from every angle. I passed on watching foolish people do what foolish people do when gifted the opportunity of fifteen seconds of fame hoping to make it last for fifteen minutes. I stopped briefly to listen to a spiritual Guru but then given that I was divorced, I quickly realized that I had insufficient funds to purchase my seat on that train leaving for perpetual enlightenment and salvation. Perusing past the endless infomercials on diet and exercise equipment endorsed by every "Has Been" of something or other, I suddenly felt hungry and that chocolate bar seemed just a bit more satisfying than usual. I listened in on the parliamentary channel but who wants to endure watching a communal of untalented actors defending their actions to an endless exhibit of spoiled children having temper tantrums when not getting their own way? I think they call it a form of diplomatic debating. I always enjoy the sports channels as I can watch the highlights of every game ever played in every sport in just twenty minutes or less. Of course the next day at work, I can then present as a wealth of information as every manly gathering involves talking sports. I was delighted to find a channel showing reruns of the I Love Lucy show but then my delight turned to disappointment when realizing it was a pay channel. I just could not justify parting with what few extra dollars I have every month to watch a television show that as a kid, I used to watch for free. Past the same old comedy skits, the Tattoo makers, the junk collectors, the conspiracy theorists, the pawn brokers, the criminals and League of Superheroes who catch them, the monsters, the vampires, the survivors, the big brothers, the bachelors, the doctors, the lawyers, the ambulance drivers, the hoarders, the apprentices, the wedding dresses, the swapping of families, the renovators, the prisoners, and and and...."YAWN"...I began to have amicable thoughts of cleaning the bathroom.

Just when I thought that all hope was forever lost, I came across a channel that had numbers and letters and images flashing across the screen at the speed of light. In big bold letters I read the words, "BREAKING NEWS". My first thought was that they were announcing the end of the world. After-all, it is the year 2012. And here I was alone and without that convenient lover to help usher in the physical destruction of civilization. But then I read three more capitol letters on the screen that did not move or disappear.....CNN. I thought that perhaps it was time to rekindle an old friendship almost forgetting why we parted ways years ago. It did not take long for me remember why I stopped using mainstream news as a medium to keep me informed as to world affairs.

This BREAKING NEWS they were referring to was a situation in Syria. I was almost positive that somewhere, at some time in the past, I heard something or other, about civil unrest and violence taking place in that country. Or perhaps that was Egypt. Maybe I was thinking about Yemen. Oh wait, was that Libya? No, it must have been Iran. It could have been Korea. Then again, there are riots in Greece. And isn't there a terrorist group in some country called, Somethingstan, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Turzakistan, Aramistan, I'mtoodrunktostand? Or maybe I am confusing all of this with the brutality and atrocities that took place during the G20 Summit in Canada and perpetrated by the Canadian government and those people who have been bestowed the highest honour to SERVE and PROTECT the people. Forgive me as I am just a Dumb Ass construction worker who obviously gets confused very easily. Thankfully, the good folks at CNN were able to provide me with clarity and I was now intent on educating myself as to the real issues and events in Syria. With my on line dictionary and thesaurus handy, I mandated the next few hours to learning everything that could be learned about the Syrian situation.

First up was a Professor of something or other employed at a University that I must admit, I had never heard of. He spoke so articulately that I was immediately thankful for the resources which allowed me to look up all those words that had more than two syllables. At the end of his ramblings, this partial owner of Academia had convinced me that the Syrian Regime was bad and that the Syrian people were being abused. I was thankful he cleared that grey area up for me. Then I listened to the Chief Correspondent in Washington talk about how the United States Government (or is that a regime?) call the Syrian regime bad. Then through a satelite image, I listened to a Chief Correspondent of something "On the ground in Syria" tell me about the Syrian regine being bad. Then came a news clip from someone claiming to represent the rights of the Syrian people and calling the current regime as bad. Then came the news clips and snippets of world leaders in all of these so called, "Democratic Countries", use a wide variety of adjectives to describe the Syrian regime as bad. After five minutes I understood the entire complexities of the situation. The Syrian Government is bad.

So why don't we, who are the moral and just conscience of the world, not just bomb them into oblivion? We have done it before. In Iraq twice, Afghanistan, repeatedly. Somalia, until everyone lost interest. Lebanon, for a time. Lybia, so they would learn their lesson and did they? Grenada and I don't know where Grenada is. Korea and that was a huge success. Veitnam and Hollywood made lots O money. Yugoslavia and did I spell that right? Or should I call it Serbia? Did we support the Serbs, or the Croats or Muslims?  I watched the movie and all I understood from that was that the United States Military is filled with nothing but honourable people. And is it okay if I spell "honourable" the Canadian way or has that now become an offence punishable by the grammar police? It is 7pm and Two And A Half Men is on but I will resist that temptation and continue with my free education, compliments of CNN.

Suddenly, there is a commercial or two. Then CNN comes back with news of the Republican Leadership race. Did they not just have an election? Did not some articulate speaking black man ( is it still okay to refer to a man as black?), win that election? I heard a rumour he was born in Kansas. Or was that Tibet? Maybe it was Palestine. Didn't somebody say he was born from a prostitute and carpenter? No, I think that was Jesus. Or maybe that was Jim Baker. In my effort to become more educated as to the world we live in, I suddenly realized that I forgot to go to the beer store after work today. Rats! The phone rings. It is my best friend Greg. He is a Fire Fighter. I worry about him. He worries about me. I think that is a good basis for our friendship. He is in town and wants to go out for a few cold sociables. Around here we call that Cold Beer..lol.

I want to change the world. The world wants to change me. But this epiphany will have to be put on hold for a few hours. One would think that governments would want to provide free alcohol and beer to it's citizens. If not, then people might spend their time educating themselves. And we wouldn't want that....

Intrinsic

 Copyrighted@RobMason2012

From the book Catching Butterflies

Intrinsic

When men of good conscience remain silent
There is no evil that shall not prevail
Ones rights are never a privilege
It is never a gift but a guarantee
Whenever that promise is broken
Shall make lesser each woman and man
Freedom cannot be a philosophy intended
But inherent to every breathe we take
It is never easy nor is it intended to be
Whatever worth having is worth fighting for
Defined in each of our defining moments
And in defence of those who are defenceless
We must stand on guard with vigilance
When that slippery slope turns situational
The rights of that one must remain inviolable
Before the collective may reap the rewards
One voice silenced is an offence to us all
Just one then watch it take hold
Never should we fear what we are told too
Fear only the ones who do the telling

A Red Cup Full Of Wine

Let a dream whisper in your ear and a desire beat in your heart. Let your mind wonder through paradise and your spirit to new heights never known. Let the sunshine warm your skin and let love send shivers all over. Allow yourself to believe and then dare to just let yourself go.
Find the courage to ask what you are not doing while finding pride in each of your successes. Hang one mirror for exaggerated distortion and hang another in the best possible light. Question every perception ambiguous while finding comfort in what lies in between. Push when your conscience commands you too yet reach out when compassion comes begging.
Let an old friend become new and a new friend become old. Be surrounded by who opens your mind then accept the truth for what it is. Be mindful if imperfect while understanding what glitters is not always gold. What is worth it is not always made easy yet sometimes it is only what you choose it to be.
Let the storm be a time of reflection with a rain cleansing you can start anew. Be humbled for a second chance and know that it is never too late no matter your sin. Let alone what you cannot change then let change this be the only constant. Don't question how others may feel instead only what you have not endured.
Let time heal all wounds and let your wounds turn into old scars. Let fate have a helping hand while letting faith be that guiding touch. Demand not for a deserving pleasure when the gift is privilege bestowed. Your obligations are not rewarded with payment as to be rich can never define being wealthy.
Let your journey always choose your direction and if able let go your cares pass on the wind. Let your failures be a lessoned learned while letting the solutions be subject to scrutiny. Let something stir your soul and let epiphanies make you ponder different roads. Always let your feelings cascade as they will and always let yourself be you.

Hopefully Sometime This Year

An excerpt from the impending book, "For No Improper Purpose" about corruption in the family law industry in Canada.
..................and so it is too with family law that the threat of punishment for non-compliance is the basis by which this institution depends on to continue facilitating such outdated and archaic philosophies. Whereas this form of coercion and intimidation remains quite successful in keeping the masses from demanding their inherent rights, it all falls apart like a straw house in a hurricane when one man stands up and says, "No." It is the calling of this continual bluff which finally avails the self destructive agenda of our current family courts.
The threat of the removal of the privilege of driving is a strong motivator for any man to do whatever is within his power to prevent from falling into child support arrears. However, once that privilege is removed, in many cases there is a loss of income. That loss of income may in whole or part, remove the ability of the payer to pay child support. One need only have a grade school equivalent education to comprehend that the system has now failed everyone. No longer is the institution of family law acting in the best interests of children in such circumstances. It is now about nothing more than a judge exacting punishment for one who would dare question this self proclaimed saving grace of our community. Enter the role of the tax payers who will now collectively bare the financial burden through such services as Legal Aide as well as funding the social services safety nets for those who who are in need. And yet, the lawyers and judges and all who receive a paycheck from family law matters continue to receive that paycheck.
Another threat commonly used for non-compliance is that of incarceration. Once again, enter the role of the tax payers who will not only continue to fund the above mentioned costs, but will now also bare the financial burden of incarcerating each man who continues to defy those who would seek to deprive him of his rights. Incarceration is the most inane of all of the threats the institution of family law employs to further their corrupt agendas. It has an accumulative effect as not only is there an immediate loss of money for the purpose of child rearing, it also prevents future monetary gains as few men will endure a lengthy term of incarceration then freed to automatic employment. But once that threat of consequence is confronted with absolute disgust, utter contempt, and an unwavering resolve to defiance, family court judges leave themselves no option but to follow through on a threat that is clearly a detriment to society as a whole. But by this time, it not about what is in the best interests of children. It is about ego and it is about protecting a corrupt institution no matter the cost. And the lawyers and judges and those receiving a paycheck from family law matters continue to receive that paycheck.
The resolution will not be found in a rock not yet over turned. It will be found in plain sight where it has always been and just waiting for those with good conscience to invoke. It will not be found in any family court nor availed from those claiming authority but maintain immunity to any responsibility. The resolution will not avail from any tinkering of the system and making a complex process more complex. There are times when a medicinal ointment can remove the symptoms presenting as a rash. Then there are times when one must ignore the symptom and research the root problem which avails that rash. The root problem is not the institution of family law, but this institution will be the battle ground nonetheless for a social change not seen since the emergence of feminism. The pendulum never stops swinging and balance is only found when.......

Visiting Paradise

When asking photographer Doug Bisson if he was interested in taking the picture for my latest book, "Catching Butterflies", I had no idea what I was soon to be shown.

In mid fall when the colours began to magically change, Doug set out with the cover art model and childrens' author, Kailey Mae Robertson to take the perfect picture. In between rain clouds that dispersed as quickly as they came, Doug found the perfect spot and snapped some incredible pics while the sun was shining. There were so many beautiful pictures that I was beginning to think I would not be able too choose one. Then I viewed that one picture and I knew I had found my new book cover art.

It should be said that all I did was give out the image I had in my mind and let it be to see what would come back. No face to face words were ever spoken as all of this took place through a few email messages.

I was so inspired by the cover art that I sat down and wrote what would be the last poem for the book.




Visisting Paradise... Copyright@  Rob Mason 2012

Alone in thought in my field of dreams
Yet surrounded by all things majestic
That quieter place where all is heard
All but the irritation of a noisy world
The shining sun seems more radiant here
When not interrupted but embraced
A gentle breeze nudges me reminding
As if reminding we are long lost friends
I close my eyes and open my heart
Then eyes opened and it is not a dream
Surrounded by a rainbow of colours
A paradise found in a meadow of green
Abound in life and only found here
Sees nature and all of its glory
Once apprehensive but I remain still
Then accepted and we all blend as one
As a butterfly then two flutter near
I hold out my hand inviting
Like a dream that seems out of reach
Still happy to hold out my hand hopeful
The tall grass bends with the wind
As if it has learned what we have not
The trees acting like protectors
Letting through only what seems needed
Harmony is found in this quieter place
But in this place I cannot remain
A time to return to my concrete world
Like a guest I never stay too long

The Road Less Travelled

Last month I published my 4th book of poetry titled "Catching Butterflies". I can still remember a time when publishing a book of any kind was not even on the radar. After all, I was just another dumb, divorced construction worker who was learning to live again after family law defrauded me of a life's worth of earned dignity among other things. I was not looking for a new career nor looking for a second income. In fact, I wish I was wealthy enough to give all the books away to as many people who would want one. There are some things that should always be free to people who need it and who am I to think that anyone would want to spend their hard-earned money on anything I have to say. 4 books later and I still feel the same way. I like to write but I hate the process and money issues of publishing. But I felt a special connection to this latest book that I had not felt since my first attempt at putting my musings about life to print in the book, "Stuff That Matters".

With this latest book, I tried very hard to look at the upside of life and what beauty this world contains when we are ready to look for it. Yes, there were a few sad and depressing poems but nothing like in the past. And even the with the sad/depressing poems, I felt as if I wrote from a perspective that things happen in life and it is never the end of hope nor dreams. These poems seem to give me the sense of closure for whatever I cannot and could not change. I found it comforting. And the rest of the book was written while in my happy place. I felt very satisfied that this time around I was able to write about many topics and always keeping a balance. The love poems were not over the top and the sad poems were not too sad. I felt as if I had narrowed the lines of extremities and brought them closer together.

Also, there were a few friends who had a hand in making this book a reality. A new friend, Doug Bisson provided the cover. Doug is an amazing photographer and captured exactly the image I was hoping for. And an old high school friend, Gina Robertson, asked her daughter if she was interested in being on the cover. Her daughter agreed. Her daughter is 13 year old Kailey Mae Robertson who has already published 2 children's books. It is always a great experience to share with friends and even better when your friends share their talents to make the hope of a book become a reality. Of course I am my worst critic and already have ranted over all the things I could have and should did better with the book. But at the end of the day, I am happy and proud of what I am willing to share with anyone and everyone.

But with the finishing of every book I soon feel useless, restless and bored. If I didn't have a full time job I swear I would go insane. So I turned my attentions to other projects previously started and immersed myself back into another reality where words are meaningful and almost come close to describing emotions. I came across a file for a book that I had almost completed by the time "Catching Butterflies" had been published. Immediately I came to the conclusion that this new file could not be the basis for a book of poetry. The poems were dark and depressing. And they were all dark and depressing! I fast forwarded in my mind to this book being published and the reaction of my friends to such a sad book that left no hope for change or redemption. they would automatically be worried about my state of mind and wanting to check in on me. I would have to reassure them that all was good..or at least okay. It is not something I look forward to. Yet there was something about this file of poems that seemed to lure me back even when I was confidently stubborn that this file would not become a book. I finally surrendered. With a cheap glass of wine in hand (remember I am a divorced man living in Ontario), I immersed myself back into this black hole of emotions and began the process of preparing a file of poems for publication.

I was surprised how easy it was. I was unnerved at how easily I slipped into character while exploring the most extreme of emotions surrounding death. There is literal death and then there is feeling dead while still seeing your breathe. This impending book explores both. It was a journey I was glad I took. It was a journey that I am happy is over with. At times I felt emotionally spent. Drawing from my own experiences, the stories told from others, I found myself wondering if I had made any progress in bridging that gap between words and emotions. I felt at times that I had almost completely crossed that bridge but then again, I wondered if I had made any progress at all. Perhaps there are some things that we are never meant to know. And perhaps that is what drives us to question life and our role in it. I have found few answers along this latest journey but always feeling and believing that is was a quest I was meant to be on. Only time will tell.....

The Facade of Family Day

And so it is that another February brings us to another holiday (for those in Ontario) known as Family Day. It is a day when the provincial government of Ontario wishes for families to take the time to reconnect with each other in an otherwise hustle and bustle, busy, day to day world.

If ever anyone wanted a glimpse into the insane, inane, nonsensical, confusing and contradicting world of politics, then this holiday would be a good place to start. Family Day is a perfect example of government and leadership without common sense and without the ability to look past their immediate need to be re-elected. The very concept of this holiday contradicts this provincial government's over-all agenda and conflicts with it's past and current policies which continues to place the very idea of family at the top of the endangered species list.

On the eve of this holiday, the provincial government announces the idea of all day kindergarten at a cost of over 1.5 billion dollars yearly. By now most have come to realize the benefits of early education as study after study indicates that the minds of these young children are ripe and ready for the imput of age appropriate information. And even at such a young age, children do benefit from the learning of structure, routine, as well as academic instruction. Of course there is a cost to such programs but most tax payers have no issues with paying taxes when the benefits can be seen immediately and for future years to come. All day kindergarten has been long overdue and is a solid invenstment in our future.
But let us not misunderstand how this holiday and all day kindergarten came to be. Politicians do not make decisions based on what is a benefit to society. Their number #1 priority after being elected is to be re-elected. It can be said that politicians spend more time trying to keep their jobs rather than spending time doing their jobs. Daycare is expensive. Over 50% of adult relationships where there are children involved end. And through the family law process, children are awarded property of the mother over 80% of the time. And now we enter into the equation the single mother and the overwhelming amount of power they collectively have in the way of votes at re-election time. When tackling the issues of daycare and early childhood education, it can hardly be done without using the phrase, "Single Mothers." Every political party has adopted this phrase and use it whenever they can. The phrase itself, should give us an insight into the amount of clout these "Single Mothers" have when it comes to certain government policies. It should also be considered insulting to those other people who are vaguely defined as parents by virtue of providing financial support to the single mothers for their belongings that they attach names to. Of course, every single mother cannot be painted with the same brush as I personally know many women who raise their children alone and I have nothing but respect and admiration for them. But too many treat children as a possession of monetary value. And being afraid to acknowledge it as a problem removes any abilty to find a solution. We know why the governing Liberals conceived of Family Day and we know why early education has been an ongoing top priority for them. And it has nothing to do with improving the quality of life for Ontario families and it has nothing to do with giving our youth an opportunity to be competetive in this new age of global economics. It can be said that the Liberal Party of Ontario did the right thing for the wrong reasons. I guess that is still better than doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason....

Yet in this time of financial uncertainty and debt, one wonders where this 1.5 billion dollars will come from to fund this early childhood education program? Just ask any college or university student and you will get a partial answer. At a time of increased funding for such programs, post-secondary education is the victim of funding cuts. I find it strange that a government which claims the education of our children to be a top priority cuts funding at a time when our youth are so close to finishing their education. Then again, college and university students do not conjer up an image of a single mother raising her children alone because all fathers are deadbeat dads in some manner or another. There is no longer the perception of the single mother struggling to put food on the table for her small children. Without these images and perceptions, the concept of family begins to fade rather quickly from the minds of those in office wanting to keep their jobs.

And on this day that our provincial government has dedicated to families, across the province and in numerous cities there will be candlelight vigils held to remember the families that have been torn apart by a provincial government that refuses to reform family law to something remotely, resembling the best interests of children and families. This provincial government has knowingly, blatantly and with intended malice, ignored the pleas of help from the overwhelming masses it is intended to represent. They have continually refused to intervene in this crisis that can now be defined as Pandemic due to the suffering and devastation it has caused.  I guess it is much easier for the government to just proclaim a Family Day than it is to actually deal with the issues that are tearing families apart at a rate not ever witnessed before in our history.

The provinces are not the only governing bodies which promote the virtues and importance of family, The federal government as well as the oposition parties all want us to believe that family and family values are at the top of their priority list. Yet, few seem to eager to turn their words into actions. I find it difficult to comprehend that we send soldiers to other countries to improve the quality of life for others and their families and yet, stand by while our definition of family in this country continues to erode into something now not recognizable and perhaps even undefinable. We eagerly send our bravest and most honourable to another country and ask them to be willing to die to protect the rights of others while here, government after government continues to strip us of our inherent rights at every opportunity. At a time when we send our people off to war in foreign lands to help restore rights and freedoms for others, our elected representatives then force families here to go to war with each other for belongings and possessions.

I wonder how much money is being lost due to this provincial holiday? Tens of millions? Hundreds of milions? Wouldn't this money lost be most welcomed for early childhood education and post secondary education programs? And I wonder how many low income families and single mothers receive no benefit from this holiday? How many single mothers will send their children off to whatever daycare means they can find due to the holiday as they make their way to work? How many people with low incomes are forced to work on this day which has been dedicated to family? I wonder how many fathers will sit alone today, alienated from their children because of corrupt family courts and the provincial and federal governments' combined malice? And after this one very expensive holiday for the tax payers of Ontario, will it change anything for the other 364 days a year?

When Family Day becomes the day when parents come together in cities across the province to protest the criminal manner in which this provincial government continues to allow the exploitation of children and parents for profit, we should maybe consider another way of promoting family values. Otherwise, we just celebrate The Facade of Family Day.

For No Improper Purpose

Recently, a new family law reform group has been making it's presence known in Sarnia, Ontario. It is yet, one more group in a long list of groups to spring forth over the last twenty years advocating for sweeping family law reforms that benefit families instead of the legal community. After their second public rally in a month, this group known as CFFLR have begun to spark much interest in exposing the corruption of family courts in Ontario and more specifically, in Sarnia/Lambton.

At issue seems to be the manner in which lawyers intentionally drag out family court proceedings to increase their fees. With allegations of collusive conduct, conflicts of interest and a general lack for the integrity for the process among lawyers and judges, CFFLR aims to avail these acts of misconduct and seeks to hold accountable those who make the art of misconduct a daily practise. By sharing stories, sharing resources, and with a goal to educate all as to their inherent rights, this group holds up as it's main priority that the legal community is intended to serve the agenda of the law and not the other way around. It is not a group of MRA's (Mens' Rights Advocates), nor is it about furthering feminist agendas. It is a collective of men and women/mothers and fathers who want equality, fairness and an opportunity to share in the privileges as well as the responsibilities of being a parent. And they want it all at a reasonable price. Such is a tall order and thus far, only wishful thinking when dealing with the enlightened, intellectually elite, self-proclaimed saving graces of our society.

Whenever those abused, mistreated, tormented, harassed, coerced and intimidated find the courage to rise up and face down the perpetrators, it automatically must invoke respect and admiration from us all. And I suspect this group will play a pivotal role in in the coming years in changing the status quo and daily processes of the family courts in Sarnia/Lambton. I believe they will be instrumental along with others in forcing the legal community to change the way they do business. In the face of what seems only to be reprisal tactics by those having a stake in keeping the status quo, the resolve of the members of CFFLR appears to gaining as well as their numbers. They are not above embarrassing lawyers, judges and local politicians in their mission to bring the law back to its rightful owners...The People.

But asking any institution of government to change is a daunting task. Our world history tells us that it has never happened without civil disobedience and violence. And I am left wondering how far this group will go to force that change that is wanted and needed. In this Internet age, protest is a easy as pushing the "Like" button on facebook or other sites. But this alone will not be enough to even tremble the building blocks of an old, archaic, and wealthy institution of our society. And through one rally after another, through a massive and endless letter writing campaign, through growing numbers and a growing disdain and loathing of the institution, the institution will survive. It will survive and those who facilitate it will continue to prosper. There will come that day when family law reform activists will have to decide how much they want that change and what they are willing to do to get it. The first act of trickery from the institution will be to simply deny that there is even a problem. This has already been going on for decades. And those who try to avail the truth will endure the endless consequences from those who have given themselves absolute power and credibility deemed above reproach. The second act of deception will be a minor tweaking of the philosophy and in process in hopes to appease the masses while allowing the legal community to continue prospering. For those that still demand more, the consequences for their lack of appreciation will be intensified. That too has already been going on for years. As long as the legal community can continue to gain financially, they will always be open to reforms. And their version of meaningful reforms often leads to a more complex set of laws and usually involves the creation and legitimacy of a new field of careers which only broadens the manner in which this financial industry continues to grow.

And although all family law reform activists share a common thread in their desires for reform, each faction has it's own methods and their own ideas as to what meaningful reform is. In Canada these groups now number in the hundreds and perhaps even in the thousands from coast to coast. But their is no coherent, unified plan or voice to bring forth change to the government. And that does not even include the radical feminist factions who's power base is dwindling but are still capable of influencing national policy. There are tens of thousands of voices screaming to our policy makers for change. And each voice screams a different version. And that is not an environment which will foster change. There have been opportunities in the past for groups to unify themselves under one national voice but these opportunities and for some reason, seem to keep slipping away. At a time when momentum forward is required, family law activists avail at times, stagnate. After that, it has to start all over again from scratch.

The reasons why a national and unified family law reform voice has not yet been heard is complex and yet easily understood. In order to facilitate change, one has to learn the processes of the system and begin to work within. It does not take long for the revolutionaries to avail conduct that is no different than those they wish to unseat from power. It is human nature when dealing with the issues of power and control. It is easy to support one another when are goals are similar but a much more difficult task to give up a role as leader of a lesser group to be a foot soldier for the greater good. Attention, praise, admiration are human needs and thus can become quite addicting. We see this in every aspect of our society. Family law reform activists engage in lobbying the government for change. So do corporations and other groups. The results are not always positive for society as a whole. A perfect example of how such corruption can quickly take hold is in the feminist movement started in the 1960's. Equality was the one word and philosophy that defined feminism. Several decades later, the notion of special interests now define feminist agendas. There will always be those in our world who will take advantage of positive and negative circumstance to feed their personal and financial wanting. It is one trait of being human. And those who follow usually do so without question. There are times when people are so desperate they will drink the sand because those who lead convince them it is water. Family law reform groups will have to learn the art of lobbying the government. And while doing so, they will also have to keep in sight what and who they are lobbying for in the face of many prizes and temptations the government hands out to those presenting as amicable.

Another obstacle to family law reform groups is one that avails when the group is comprised of both men and women. It is a noble concept but often fails due to the polar opposites of opinions between the genders. Imagine buying a 15% share in a fortune 500 company and then expecting that you will have a say in the management of that company. It is much the same with family law. Where as women are given sole custody of children over 80% of the time, it can be said they hold the balance of power. Their voices are louder, more powerful and thus will have more ears listening to them. I often wonder how effective men can be and will be when marching side by side with women to reform the law when they cannot yet march as equals. Much to the delight of the legal community, there is still much division between the genders when dealing with family law issues. And we are years away from a combining force of men and women forcing change that benefits all equally. But the mere fact that men and women are trying to find this common ground is in itself, a source for inspiration and cause for hope.

There are many who believe that family law is the problem. I disagree. It is my assertion that family law is nothing more than a symptom of a much broader problem that plagues and will continue to plague our society for many years to come. We live in a politically correct world. And no government, no corporation, no group, no charity is immune from its effects. We see it everyday in the media, in advertisement, in our schools, in corporate policies and in government policies that favour one gender over another. In its inception, it was deemed a temporary good by those who seemed blinded to its inevitable devastating and permanent consequences. And those consequences perhaps now shown most visible in the arena of family courts.

I submit that family law activists are not just taking to task corrupt lawyers and judges. They are not just fighting a exclusive, protected faction of society. Family law activists are in fact, taking on the very philosophies that have been guiding, or more so, misguiding every aspect of our society for several decades. The battleground chosen for fighting these politically correct notions will be the institution of family law. And the winning of that war will have implications that will ripple far beyond family law issues and will take root and begin to change the very fabric of our society that has endured the status quo for several decades. It will happen eventually. The only question that remains is which generation will see it done? Which future generation will come to the conclusion that Nobody Wins Unless Everybody Wins?

And I hope I live long enough to see that day!